She's Gone......

Everyone wants to talk and come see me but right now I just want to be alone with my thoughts. Alone with my anger. Alone with my tears. Alone with my pain. I just want to be alone....

When I was told she was "gone", I was hoping she meant she just wasn't at home and they didn't know where she was but that wasn't the case; my Mother is GONE.....

How do I tell my son that his grandmother is gone? How do I tell my Brother and Lil Sister it'll be alright when right now its FAR from alright?

I feel I want to type more but I can't stop crying; she was only 51 years young. Why couldnt she love herself the way she loved us? Why is she gone? Why?

Fuck it, I'll finish this later, I just can't think right now.

I love you Mommy and I'm glad I got to hear your voice one last time this new year. I'll never forget that conversation. I'll never forget the great memories - the bad ones are gone. You'll never be forgotten...