Brutha Wil wrote this blog recently, I swear I pissed my pants..lol...Dude writes the best blogs, I swear but this one tooook the cake, son!
Monday, January 21, 2008
DATES GONE WRONG!
So I'm dating now...
This is a true story but we'll keep the names on the low low.
This girl called me up asking me out on a date. I thought "wow, a girl asking me out on a date?" Women sometimes trick you into asking them out on a date. Like "so when are you taking me out?" Then you say "OK, I'll take you out on..." The unspoken rule is the one who asks is the one who has to pay- but most of the time I don't mind paying. She was complaining I'm always working & never ask her out. I work at night performing (those who know me know I don't take days off) but this night I was hosting a show. I said you're welcome to come to my show and in between performances I'd sit with you if you don't mind. She said sure she'd love to. Later that night as I'm getting ready for my show and I was running late, she calls me at the last minute to mention "oh I'm bringing a friend." I said "that's cool no problem, I'll see you later." No time to talk I had to rush. I really didn't mind her bringing her friend because then I wouldn't feel bad that she's sitting solo while I played Superman on stage.
FYI- Women love to bring their safety friend so guys don't try anything if they should have a change of heart. So they use it as an emergency switch in case they realize they don't really like you then later they'll say "I have to go home with my friend cause she's not feeling well -but the bitch looks fine to me. But if they like you the friend will suddenly disappear. Where's your girlfriend, "Oh she had to leave, it's just me and you." Guys don't do that. You'll never see a guy bring a 'friend' to a date for safety.
Girl: Who's that?
Guy: Oh, thats my boy Larry,
Girl: Why you brought him?
Guy; Oh just in case you try something he's here to make sure the night goes smooth.
I get to the club and she walks in with her friend...her friend...(music stops) her friend is a DUDE!!! Not a friend-friend, not a gay guy-friend, but a DATE! Oh shit...this bitch brought a date to our date!!! They walked in holding hands tight. He shakes my hand and says, "nice to meet you, heard great things..." She walks slightly behind him and kind of whispers to me with a puppy face "is it OK, is it cool?" I said sure baby-girl come on in and have a good time. I had the waiter sit them at their table and she said "are you gonna come sit and talk with us?" I said you two enjoy the night. Later, the whole night they're kissing, rubbing noses, drinking each others drinks, he's feeding her, she's feeding him...the shit we were suppose to do- well minus the rubbing nose shit.
Towards the end of the night the waiter comes to me with there check for $115.38 and said the couple over there said you're taking care of their tab. (music stops again) WHAT THE FUCK?!?.......
You've GOT to read the END - like FOR REAL!! Check out his blog - blog.myspace.com/wilsylvince. I had to tease ya so you'd go to his page, duh...lol
Wil Sylvince MySpace
CHECK OUT WIL SYLVINCE ON THE NEW SEASON OF DEF COMEDY JAM, RIGHT AFTER THE SUPER BOWL ON FEB 3RD ON HBO!!